The third answer
A good friend of mine, Mary Nixon, recently posed a number of questions in response to her reading of Boy on a Wire. She challenged me to answer them. Mary expected that I would not, when answering, move a foot back. I have tried not to.
This is the third.
3. Have you ever thought how Jack would have behaved as a boy without the rules imposed by God to help him control his fierce emotions?
You had a strong set of rules imposed on you by High Church Anglicanism - was it a straight jacket or a safety net? (pp 11,12, etc.)
If Jack had not had God watching over him, tempering him, adding to his fear, insisting on certain commandments, yes, he would have been a lot less restrained. Me too. But not only did I fear God, I was also afraid of those who constantly judged your manners.
I was brought up by two people and one of their parents to believe that “manners maketh a man”. My father sometimes sat at the head of the table with a strap to ensure that we held our knives, forks, and spoons correctly and that we sat upright, arms placed accordingly and that our speech was befitting of our class. My mother was even more severe although not as violent.
On reflection, I realise that the heavy handed rule from the top taught me basics that nurtured respect, courtesy, and, even more important, restraint. Given the fire that often burnt quick, deep and fierce within me, God and manners kept me from raging blazes that could well have had tragic consequences.
However, there is no doubt that as my life moved along its random path, the safety net proved to be a straight jacket, which is why I, like many of my baby boomer colleagues, revolted. And revolting I remain.