The third answer
A good friend of mine, Mary Nixon, recently posed a number of questions in response to her reading of Boy on a Wire. She challenged me to answer them. Mary expected that I would not, when answering, move a foot back. I have tried not to.
This is the third.
3. Have you ever thought how Jack would have behaved as a boy without the rules imposed by God to help him control his fierce emotions?
You had a strong set of rules imposed on you by High Church Anglicanism - was it a straight jacket or a safety net? (pp 11,12, etc.)
If Jack had not had God watching over him, tempering him, adding to his fear, insisting on certain commandments, yes, he would have been a lot less restrained. Me too. But not only did I fear God, I was also afraid of those who constantly judged your manners.
I was brought up by two people and one of their parents to believe that “manners maketh a man”. My father sometimes sat at the head of the table with a strap to ensure that we held our knives, forks, and spoons correctly and that we sat upright, arms placed accordingly and that our speech was befitting of our class. My mother was even more severe although not as violent.
On reflection, I realise that the heavy handed rule from the top taught me basics that nurtured respect, courtesy, and, even more important, restraint. Given the fire that often burnt quick, deep and fierce within me, God and manners kept me from raging blazes that could well have had tragic consequences.
However, there is no doubt that as my life moved along its random path, the safety net proved to be a straight jacket, which is why I, like many of my baby boomer colleagues, revolted. And revolting I remain.
The second in a series of answers
A good friend of mine, Mary Nixon, has posed a number of questions in response to her reading of Boy on a Wire. She has challenged me to answer them. Mary expects that I will not, when answering, move a foot back. I’ll try not to.
Here is the second.
2. The importance of heroes as distinct from role models (p8) Jesus Christ, Tom Brown’s school days. (pp 61,62) for boys and young men.
Heroes seem to be crucial to boys. Most of my friends had a hero but not many of them looked to Jesus Christ.
My Jesus was not a compliant God-fearing sycophant. He was an action man of peace. When it came to addressing a large crowd on forgiveness, on life everlasting, on peace and goodwill to all humankind, then feeding them with morsels, he was up to it. And when confronting a bunch of greedy traders in a temple, he did not hesitate. Not to forget his championing of the poor, the unfortunate, the disenfranchised, the diseased and the unforgiven.
As he was being knocked out of me by the Church I turned to Tom Brown, the Phantom, James Bond and then graduated to what I would prefer to call guides: Paramahansa Yogananda, Kahlil Gibran and, not quite finally, Carl Jung.
Why such a diverse range of folk? Well, that broad, all encompassing, ever deepening conversation I really wanted to have with my father, the one about everyone and everything, was only available through a range of heroes, people whose voices and attitudes I recognised and understood. Each one offered something a little different at the various stages of my life. And it’s not easy to find a poet who loves footy. Or a dreamy idealist who has a burning need to kill feral, imported wildlife.
I was never going to hang on to one guide, or hero, forever. There are boys and men who find the one they want, and cling onto him or her until the last breath. There must be a need. My needs were and are ever changing. However, there are two books I have re-read most of my adult life: Hermann Hesse’s’ Siddhartha and Albert Ellis’ A New Guide to Rational Living.
The book, Boy on a Wire, is published by Fremantle Press